Work-Life Balance Is An Illusion
A paradigm shift for thriving in today’s workplace
“There is nothing better than that all should enjoy their work, for that is their lot.” — Ecc 3:22
“I am quitting my job tomorrow.”
He is never short of rib-cracking punch lines, but that statement was not a joke. My dad was misty-eyed when he announced those words to my mother, my younger brother and me. This job was one of his best; he was not a cabby. The pay was good and regular, chauffeuring the brother of a VIP. I was shocked and disappointed. But it all made sense to me 18 years later.
On a day off, my dad attempted to play with my two-year-old sister at the time. She kicked and screamed for the safety of her mother. My sister did not know her father because he was never home during her waking hours. That put my dad at a crossroads — his job or bonding with his last-born daughter. He quit the next day.
Fast forward to 2010. Extended office hours dominated the second year of my first ex-pat assignment. It was commonplace to see me leaving the office when my colleagues are reporting for work. A friend called those “trans-nighting” shifts. During the day, I lose myself behind heaps of purchase orders and payment vouchers, and at night, my eyes were staring deep into rows and columns of Excel financial models or long strings of PowerPoint slides.
Then like my dad, I had a day off. And like my dad, I attempted to play with my two-year-old son. Okay. I can see you doing the maths here. I was two years into the job, and my son was two years old, which means, eh…? Well, yes. I was busy with other duties as well. But, let’s stay on the story, shall we? So, just like my sister’s reaction, my son screamed in horror as if he had just seen a ghost. Yes and no.
Yes, I announced I was quitting after that. And no, I wasn’t as brave as my dad. But, that moment made me decide to look for a job that will give me a work-life balance. I turned down a pay raise and an offer to telecommute for a new position in South Africa. Ironically, after one year, I left South Africa to take up a job in Afghanistan, putting me farther from my family. These experiences taught me one valuable career lesson.
Pursuing the proverbial solid line between work and life is like a dog chasing its tail.
My close associates often ask how I keep writing, oversee our family business, cycle, workout in the gym while working as the CFO of a leading telecommunications company in Afghanistan. My impressive editor said to me, “I don’t know how you do it. I can barely function for 4 hours a day. You seem to run at 16.”
A mindset shift to the concept of work-life integration (WLI) is helping me navigate working, writing and keeping fit. Embracing the paradigm of harmonising work and life is critical in modern times where telecommuting, popularised by the COVID-19 pandemic, blurs the line between the two.
Seeking work-life integration is not something that should be viewed as a luxury or something to feel guilty about. It’s a necessary component of our overall physical health, mental health, productivity, and engagement.”
— Michelle Marquez (culled from https://www.atlassian.com/blog/productivity/work-life-integration)
Does work-life integration intrigue you, but you don’t know how to make the shift? If yes, see how these five things I do can help you explore the concept.
1) See the big picture beyond “work and life.” David J. McNeff suggests focusing on professional, family, personal, physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual.
2) Know what you want out of work-life integration. For me, WLI gives me more time for my writing.
3) Ditch the guilt trap. Don’t feel guilty for coming to work late or leaving early as long as you are effective. Caveat: ensure you agree on this with your line manager.
4) Find the best times for your tasks. The best time for me to write is in the morning before work, sometimes. Think “best time vs set time.”
5) Multitask intelligently. Don’t multitask with work that requires high mental focus. I cannot do this newsletter while review my business plan presentation. But, I can listen to a writing course while cycling.
Do not expect overnight results. Making the shift will be an experiment. Review your results, revise your approach and revisit your goals until you find your sweet spot. Finding it will ensure you achieve more at work and enjoy more out of life.
“Work-life integration is, at its best, a way to help individuals both improve their well-being and enhance their performance at work.” — Stephanie Harrison
Order your paperback copy of my book from the link below to see how I applied work-life integration practices in my 25 years career.
Book recommendations
Here are two book recommendations on practices, pros and cons about work-life integration:
a) The Work-Life Balance Myth: Rethinking Your Optimal Balance for Success by David J. McNeff
b) Leading The Life You Want: Skills for Integrating Work and Life by Stewart D. Friedman
Citations
Here are three quotes to help you find harmony between your professional life and personal life.
“We need to do a better job of putting ourselves higher on our own to-do list.” — Michelle Obama
“Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of your attention.” — Jim Rohn
“We think, mistakenly, that success is the result of the amount of time we put in at work, instead of the quality of time we put in.” — Arianna Huffington
