“The Desire Model” — Four Things We All Need for Focus and Clarity
My most important lesson from a five-day transformation challenge
“Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.” — Prov 4:25
What is the magic number? Is there even a magic number? Some studies have suggested it takes 14 days, others 21 days to change a habit or form a new one.
Is it easier to stop an old habit or to form a new one? For example, is it easier to quit smoking than to start exercising in the morning?
What would you say if I told you, you could transform yourself in five days?
Impossible!
That was how I reacted when I saw Brendon Burchard’s Transformation Week course — a five-day personal development challenge. I signed up for it despite my scepticism. I figured it would be good to maintain a five-day streak even if I am not “transformed” at the end of day five. I decided to enjoy the journey rather than fuss over the destination.
Well, I missed the streak after day two. Life and work happen. But those two days were so insightful that I restarted the challenge. Thankfully, I completed the five days at the second time of asking. Through the challenges, I started journaling every evening instead of binging on Netflix. I developed concrete plans for exercising and reading in the mornings. In five days, I was replacing old, unproductive habits with new, productive ones. I started to feel alive again and more excited about the days ahead.
I completed the exercise the second time because my LinkedIn audience became my accountability partners. Daily journaling helped me to be more intentional about my days. I was back on track with my projects through the action plans I put together on the GrowthDay App.
But “The Desire Model” was the most impactful discovery from that five-day challenge. After some introspection, I agree with Brendon that we all need the following four things for better focus and clarity in the critical areas of our lives.
1) Aliveness
We want to feel alive, inspired and motivated each day. Hence, we must commit to deliberate, daily actions in search of that feeling. Going to the gym every morning makes me feel alive. Listening to audiobooks or reading inspires me to be a better business leader.
2) Deep connections
We all long to connect, at a deeper level, with family, friends and maybe colleagues. I realised that everyone, regardless of social status, wants to feel appreciated. I take time to appreciate the people close to me. I try to be more present with my kids.
3) Meaningful pursuits
What are we doing to help others? Pursuing interests outside our professional career to contribute to our communities or give meaning to others. These interests help us find our purpose. Writing about personal development is one of my meaningful pursuits. Coaching and mentoring others connect me to my purpose.
4) Growth
We study, work or start a business because we want to grow. After our first bachelor’s degree, we pursue an MBA, then a PhD. At first, all we want is a job. Then we want our first promotion, setting our sights on the C-suite. We launch a business, then we aim for the first 100 customers or subscribers, then the first 1000 and so on. All these fill us with a sense of progress and growth.
If you reflect on everything you do sincerely, you will find your reason in one of these four desires. And any feeling of being stuck, unhappy or frustrated may be because you are not fulfilling one or more of these desires.
GrowthDay’s five-day transformation challenge introduced me to frameworks that helped me start habits, like journaling, that make me feel alive, build deep connections, rekindle my passion and track my progress in all the key areas of my life.
You would be right in saying that it is impossible to transform your life in five days. Personal development is a way of life; you must strive for it daily. But I promise you this: you will kickstart, restart or revamp your personal development journey if you write down three things you would do daily to:
- Feel alive.
- Have deeper connections at home, work or with your friends.
- Add meaning to others.
- Grow in your career or business.
Your transformation journey starts now — go!
Two (2) Book recommendations
I discovered the GrowthDay community after reading one of Brendon Burchard’s books. It is only fitting to recommend that book and another from the same author.
a) The 6 Habits of Growth: Get Unstuck and Create the Life of Your Dreams. by Brendon Burchard
b) High Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Become That Way. by Brendon Burchard
Three (3) Citations
Reflect on these quotes as you pursue your growth and development this week and every day after that.
“Be more intentional about who you want to become. Have a vision beyond your current circumstances. Imagine your best future self, and start acting like that person today.” — Brendon Burchard.
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” — Aristotle.
“Ever since I was a child, I have had this instinctive urge for expansion and growth. To me, the function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one’s potential.” — Bruce Lee.
