The Counter-intuitive Principle of Growth

Dunstan Ayodele Stober
3 min readMar 1


Lessons from an author’s self-help book

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” — Luke 6:38

Photo by Kampus Production

It is my first time, and I am excited!

I was honoured that my friend could trust me to write the foreword to her new book. But, I was concerned about how I would fit reading the book time into my calendar. I could read the book during my commute time. So, I said yes and picked up the manuscript from her.

That was one of my most rewarding and fulfilling decisions in the last four weeks.

Kim Vermaak’s upcoming authors’ self-help book is a page-turner from cover to cover. But not just for authors. Readers can apply the book’s tips, tactics and overall strategies to their career, business venture or artistic pursuit.

The book's theme is underpinned by a fundamental success principle—no spoiler from me. Look out for the book. But, I will tell you three principles I learnt from reviewing Kim’s manuscripts.

1) Take action

People do not realise their dreams because they fail to take action. To succeed in any endeavour, we must take focused, deliberate action. We must do something daily that brings us closer to our goal.

Kim underscored this principle with the “be, do, have” philosophy. First, we must be, in our minds, the person we want to be. Then we must do what it takes to succeed (take action). Only then can we have the success we seek.

2) Add value

Doing significant work leads to success. And we do significant work by adding value to others. According to Kim, adding value to others builds long-term relationships.

Giving value is the surefire way to receive value.

“Giving is better than receiving because giving starts the receiving process.” — Jim Rohn

3) Set realistic expectations

The key is to remain grounded. And we touched on this in Issue 3 of our newsletter.

Most disappointments stem from our lofty expectations. We must appreciate that building anything of significance takes time. It is vital to set credible, specific and realistic goals.

I loved Kim’s anecdote. “Your expectation should never be higher than your work ethic.” — Anonymous

Dare to dream, dream big but always back it up with deliberate and decisive action. Let those actions move you towards significant work.

And remember, be gentle with yourself.

Two (2) Book recommendations

Photo by Shiromani Kant on Unsplash

This week, I will give you one book to put on your wishlist.

a) Value To Others: 52 insights into business and personal success by Dr Chris Mason

I have just slotted this into my waiting list as I prepare to launch my next business venture. The first sentence in the book’s introduction on Amazon pulled me in. I believe it will be a worthwhile read.

“Many books purport to offer tips on how to thrive in the business world, but personal and business success really comes down to one thing: Value to Others.”

b) What Would A Successful Author Do? by Kim Vermaak

This book will be worth the wait because it is so much more than an author’s marketing blueprint.

Three (3) Citations

Photo by Randy Tarampi on Unsplash

Here are three success quotes to feed your mind.

“People who add value to others do so intentionally. I say that because to add value, leaders must give of themselves and that rarely occurs by accident.” — John C Maxwell

“Knowing is not enough. You must take action.” — Tony Robbins

“Well done is better than well said.” — Benjamin Franklin



Dunstan Ayodele Stober

CFO | Author | Coach | Entrepreneur — inspirational stories with tips, tools and techniques to strengthen your body, transform your mind and uplift your spirit.