Questions can Unlock Doors if we Ask the right ones
“Ye ask and receive not, because ye ask amiss…” James 4:3(a)
“To solve any problem, here are three questions to ask yourself: First, what could I do? Second, what could I read? And third, who could I ask?” — Jim Rohn
Are you asking the right questions?
A comedian is probably the last person you would want to listen to in the morning of the first day of your working week, or maybe that is just me. Well, that was just what I did this Sunday morning. Yes, my work week starts on Sunday and yes, I decided to watch a YouTube video by Steve Harvey. Work with me on this one.
Once again, my morning routine. Get up, prep and get on the saddle. Fifteen minutes later, 7.3 KMs done at an average speed of 29.1 KMPH. Then it was time to nourish my mind. I flipped through YouTube for new contents from my subscription channels. As I searched, I kept asking myself what is it that I want to learn this morning. Ironically, I came across a 25 minutes video titled “You Have Not Because You Ask Not — Steve Harvey Rags to Riches”. So I settled for that because I have been asking a lot of questions of myself and key people around me lately. I know I could count on Steve Harvey to entertain and motivate at the same time. He did not disappoint, but I must admit that I was blown away by Steve’s perspective. I did not expect him to break down scripture to such practical details using his own practical experience. Yep! Do not judge a book by its cover.
“I have found that almost everything that is going to come to me, that is going to help me leadership wise is based on a question.” John Maxwell
In the video, Steve explains about his early struggles, the three years he spent sleeping in his rickety car and his first break with a US$ 50 prize money. Fast forward to when he had US$ 250,000 and was about to buy his first piece of land. Steve has been asking God for a plot of land of his own just so that people will stop chasing him away from their properties and parking lots. With US$ 250,000 he started off negotiating for a six-acre land. While the owner was contemplating Steve’s offer, another landowner offered him 16 acres for the same amount. The crux of the video is that Steve attributes his rise from humble beginnings to the art of asking, and asking the right question with confidence.
While such does not happen to everyone every day, it got me thinking deeply about whether I am asking the right questions. Am I even asking enough questions? Do I have confidence in the questions that I am asking? In this age of information overload, we tend to think we demonstrate value when we provide all the answers. We are embarrassed to ask questions because we are afraid of looking stupid or ignorant. We bombard ourselves with so much news and information that we clog our understanding unknowingly. We need to accept that it is ok to ask questions.
“My greatest strength as a consultant is to be ignorant and ask a few questions.” — Peter Drucker
The trick is to know which type of questions to ask. We can ask questions to entertain or educate us. I have had friends ask me some great questions, like — “What business do you do or hope to do?” “Do you know about Bitcoin, do you think I can invest in it? “Where do you see the future of consulting”. These are great questions that can open the doors of one’s mind and imagination.
Asking questions is very good. Two things are essential — our reason for asking the questions and what we are ready to do with the answer. We should not ask questions for the sake of asking questions because there is no value in that. John Maxwell said, “if you are going to ask life-changing questions, be sure to do something with the answers.”
Also, whom are you asking? Are you asking Your government? We all think our governments owe us something because we are taxpayers or because of some other sense of entitlement. When you do get to ask the question of your government, this is what to ask.
“Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.” — John F Kennedy
We should be givers and not takers.
Are you asking questions at your job? How many times do we think we will put in our best efforts when the company increases our pay? Next time that thought crosses your mind ask this.
“Don’t ask what are you getting; ask what you are becoming?” — Jim Rohn
We can ask questions of ourselves. I think what we inquire of ourselves are crucial because they give us a chance, to be honest with ourselves; to take stock of who we are and what we are becoming. The question we ask ourselves will determine the limits of our imagination. I like these words of George Bernard Shaw.
“There are those that look at things the way they are, and ask why? I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?” — George Bernard Shaw
I choose to be in the latter group — let my imagination create visions of things that never were, and I ask why not.
Even if we cannot find the right people to ask the right questions, we must always ask ourselves profound, soul-searching questions. Doing this will create life-changing moments for us, help to keep our focus and maintain the right attitude that will attract success. Three questions to ask (culled from Law of Attraction Coaching video).
1) What will they say at my funeral?
Steven Covey opened with a hypothetical scenario in the introduction of habit 2 in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change that depicts this question. “Begin with the end in mind.”
What kind of person will they say you were? What difference would they say you made in their lives?
To start one’s day with this question is to start your day “with the image, picture, or paradigm of the end of your life as your frame of reference or the criterion by which everything else is examined” (Steven Covey). This question, no doubt, presents a sobering moment and a time to reflect on personal leadership.
2) What is most important in my life, and how must I act today to prove that?
Are your actions consistent with what you say is important to you? You may say that your health is important to you, but you are not ready to exercise and eat healthily. You may claim that your job is important to you, but you are not prepared to invest the time to make yourself better. You will make time for what is important to you. My colleagues and friends usually ask me, how am I able to make time to write given my busy work schedule? I believe that my writing educates, motivates and inspires my readers; this is important to me. So I make time to write — stay up late, get up early or squeeze some time during my lunch break.
I am taking time off from work to see my daughter perform her first stage play because being there to support my baby girl is important to me.
Look at what you spend most of your time on, and see if it is in alignment with your priorities and goals.
“The proof of respect is the investment of time.” — Dr Mike Murdoch
3) What can I be grateful for today?
I signed up for Ryan Holiday’s Stoic 30-days challenge during October of this year. There were some tough challenges, and I have to be honest with you all; I failed to keep up. I give no excuses. My commitment was not strong enough, plain and simple. However, I did take a few lessons from the days I succeeded. For example, the challenge on day 3 was this. “Write down five things that you are thankful for.”
I am grateful for life; for my family and real friends; for my mentors; for the challenges that I have overcome to become who I am; and above all, I am grateful to God for his Grace.
Our era of instant gratification has made us accustomed to wanting more, and we forget to be grateful for what we already have. We take for granted what we have and the people in our lives. By doing this, we miss out on the opportunity to be in the best state of mind and be happy, which is a small part of the benefits of being grateful. According to Tony Robbins “gratitude is the antidote to the things that mess us up”.
Be grateful, and you will feel better and attract more reason to be thankful.
In my opinion, this is the most profound question I think we should be asking ourselves daily.
“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, “What are you doing for others?” — Martin Luther King, Jr
