Man’s Best Friend. Three Philosophies for Success
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” — Matt 6:34
1981. I was seven years old, and my parents were struggling financially. Dad was not doing so well with his cab driving job, and mum’s teacher’s salary was poor and irregular. As things got increasingly difficult, we had to move to a relative’s place in an area of Freetown, Sierra Leone, called Ascension Town. They must have named this area Ascension Town because of the hill you have to climb to get there. Or so my kiddy brain thought. But for us, it was not a climb in fortunes.
We moved to a jam-packed communal compound to live in an adjoining block of one-bedroom apartments. I do not remember how many apartments were there, but it was rowdy. Although it was not far from the city centre, it felt like a village. I remember mum’s kitchen was outside and, a tripod of sizeable rocks on the dirt ground formed the small fire pit on which mum sets her pot for cooking in an open space. There were days we could not afford kerosene so I would go searching for used polythene bags while mum was preparing the ingredients for the meal of the day. I used to have fun watching the little droplets of flames from the polythene drop on the pieces of wood as I struggle to start the fire. As soon as my misty eye from the smoke sees hint a flame, I would shout, “mummy! The fire is ready.” I spent a lot of time after school helping mum with the “kitchen” chores while she interrogates me about school. That makeshift fire pit was also our study room. One time I came back with a not-so-good report from school which got mum fuming. Mum did not take kindly to the dropping of grades. Let me spare you the ordeal that ensued on that fateful afternoon. Suffice it to say that a few objects flew around that afternoon. Mum did not miss any opportunity to reinforce her message — “a good education is your escape to a better future”. She was right.
In that same year, my only-child title, which I held for seven years, was taken away from me when my younger brother came along. I was happy and could not wait for him to grow up. I needed help with the house chores, and I also needed a playmate and a friend. While I waited for him to fill that void, I made a new friend from one of the neighbouring apartments. The gentleman was cruel to his dog. I was too young to know what breed of dog he was, but I remember that it had black fur mixed with traces of brown and ears always upright. The owner would kick and yell at him, through objects and starve him. This dog had such a terrible odour that I named him Smellie. I started to look after and feeding Smellie. His first bath was a huge fight. Dad helped me tie him to the steel pipe from the tap that was in the compound. Smellie was jumping and barking for joy after its first bath. I guess he must have felt light in its fur. Our friendship developed from thereon.
I would look forward to coming home after school to check and feed him. And I was always amazed at how he recognised the sound of my voice from a distance. Even when I tried to creep into the compound without making a sound, he would recognise my scent. He was my second pet and friend. My first was a chick which died under the weight of my soda drink bottle. But my friendship with Smellie grew over the four years we stay at Ascension town. It was then dad taught me that a dog is a man’s best friend. This phrase reminds me of a joke I heard from Lou Holtz.
“Lou Holtz said he told his friend that his wife was his best friend. But his friend told him that he was wrong. His said his friend told him that if he wanted to prove this point, he should lock his dog and his wife and his dog in the back of his truck. And come back two hours later to see who will be happier to see him.”
Guys, please do not try that at home. Take it from me; a dog is a man’s best friend.
Two years after we left Smellie with his owner, dad and I went back to visit. Smellie did not miss a beat. He recognised my voice from some distance as he used to those days I would come back from school. Smellie came dashing, barking and running back and forth. Dad had to hold me from falling over when Smellie jumped onto my chest. People in the compound and passers-by watched in amazement at Smellie’s reaction. It was an emotional scene. It was as if Smellie was telling me not to leave him again. This experience made me take a liking for dogs to the point that I will not miss a dog movie — Bolt, A Dog’s Journey, Marley and Me to name the few that I have watched.
On one of my flights from Kabul to Dubai, The Art of Racing in the Rain caught my attention. You can see why from the poster below.
Out of impulse, Denny, an aspiring race car driver, bought a golden retriever which he named Enzo. Enzo is the first name of Italian race car driver and entrepreneur — Enzo Ferrari. I am such a sucker for dog movies that this epic got me teary-eyed for most of its duration. I mean, who does that with a movie narrated by a dog?
I cannot promise you that you will get the same emotions from watching the movie because I do not know how much you relate to dogs. But I promise you that the three philosophies that I took away from this movie will help you succeed in this race called life.
Create your opportunities and stop complaining about things that you cannot control
Denny is uniquely adept, among his peers, in driving in the rain. Other drivers hate the wet surface. But for Denny, it is his favourite condition for racing. He takes the corners effortlessly and will almost certainly win any time it rains. The first race Denny took Enzo to ended with rain. Enzo (yes, the dog), watched his new owner celebrate victory at the end of the first car race that he witnessed. Years went by, Denny and Enzo’s bond grew. Denny got married, had a daughter and Enzo remained a part of the family.
One day, Denny came home to see his wife and Enzo watching one of his race videos as studiously as he would. When Denny sat down next to his wife on the sofa, she looked him straight in the eye and asked him — “how come when it rains you take corners faster than everyone else?” His answer perfectly articulates how we should react to external conditions in our lives.
“If the driver has the courage to create his own conditions, then the rain is just rain.”
Instead of complaining about the rain, Denny studied it to use it to his advantage. He said instead of him waiting for the car to skid on the wet surface; he creates the skid action so that he is in control of what happens.
I could have complained about my parents’ difficult financial situation. I could have complained that I could not get all the perfect conditions to study at home. That my head hurts after inhaling smoke from mum’s fire pit and not do my homework. But mum taught me to create my conditions such that those were just hard times. They did not determine the outcome of my race, instead, I created the conditions to help me skid through the difficult times.
Do not let the external conditions of the economy, your boss, or whatever it is that you are facing determine the outcome of your race. See how you can use those external conditions that are outside your control to your advantage. Let the rain just be rain.
Denny always seemed unfazed whenever he lost a race. When he comes home after each race, his wife or daughter would ask him if he won. If he lost, his answer would be, “not this one sweetheart, not this one”. His reaction does not mean he was not ambitious or that he was careless about his job. But he guided himself with this one philosophy.
“The best drivers don’t dwell on the future or the past. The best drivers focus only on the present.”
As my favourite speaker put it — “treat the past as a school. Let it teach you. Don’t use the past as a burden to carry. Don’t use the past as a club to beat yourself with.”
Does this mean that we should not plan for the future? No, no, no. We should plan our future with diligence. I believe that if we do not plan our future, our past will come back to haunt us. But the key is not to worry about the future. We should prepare for it but not let it distract us from giving our best in the present moment. That way, we can “face the future with anticipation and not with apprehension.” (Jim Rohn)
No matter how good my previous grades were, they did not matter in the present. What mattered was if I am giving my best now. We did not dwell on past glory or failures. Nor did we talk about what the next class would be. The question is always — is my now better than my past best?
“Don’t wait to be successful at some future point. Have a successful relationship with the present moment and be fully present in whatever you are doing. That is success.” — Eckhart Tolle
We must always strive to give our best now. And if things do not work out as we want them to, we must keep trying. We will give our past power over us and will fail our future if we do not give our best now.
Denny had many tryouts and test drives in the movie to get into different race teams. The first race in the movie, he was called in to step in for another drive. True to his philosophy, he did not concern himself about what would happen after the race. Nor did he let his jobless past make any anxious to do well. His focus was to give his best in that race. He won and got a job offer which set him on the path of his dreams.
But after he lost his wife to cancer. He got embroiled in a legal custody battle for his daughter with his in-laws. He fought hard and did all that he could to pay the legal expenses to win back custody. The case prevented him from travelling out of the country when the opportunity came for him to work for Ferrari in Italy.
His long-time friend had arranged a gig for him to try out to be a test driver for Ferrari. The Ferrari driver developer came over to the US to see Denny test drive one of the latest Ferrari releases around the race track where Denny was teaching some race driving kid enthusiasts. The developer was impressed with Denny’s driving and gave him an open invitation to Italy whenever he was cleared to travel. For the first time in the movie, Denny faced a future opportunity with apprehension. He asked his friend. “What if I lose in the trials? What if I do not make it? His friend’s response is a life philosophy that we can adopt if we want to succeed in life.
“There is no dishonour in losing the race. There is only dishonour in not racing because you are afraid to lose.”
We should never live to go through the pain of regret, asking what if? Most times, we allow the fear of failure to hold us back. It is better to try and fail than not to try at all. I rather put out this piece and get negative reviews than not put it out in fear that readers will criticise it. I will put it out there than hold back because of the fear that readers will find spelling and grammar mistakes. Because it is only through those failures that I will learn and grow into a better writer.
When we fail to try because of the fear of failure, we are accumulating the weight of future regret.
“There are two types of pain you will go through in life, the pain of discipline and the pain of regret. Discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tonnes.” — Jim Rohn
I have failed in school, I have made mistakes on the job, and I have failed in business, many times. All of those mistakes and failures are only me finding out ways not to do those things in my next attempt.
In this race called life, the conditions will not always be perfect. It will rain sometimes. We will face many trials, and we will feel the fear of the unknown. But we will increase our chances of winning the race if we:
1) Have the courage to create the conditions we want, rather than complain about the things we cannot change.
2) Focus on getting the best out of the present, using the past as a lesson and preparing for the future with anticipation and;
3) Let go of the fear of failure to lessen to the weight of regret for it is better to try and fail than not to try at all.
Drivers, start your engines! And let’s race.
