Giving Starts the Receiving Process
A profound lesson from a little kid with a big heart
“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”– Luke 6:38
Dad took ill. I was a godparent at a grandiose wedding. I reunited with some childhood friends I had not seen in over two decades. I attended the funeral of a very close friend’s mum. Then we had a fabulous beach outing. I listened to a sobering message at church. And I was not on vacation.
But, nothing in that emotional roller coaster was close to the climax of my three-week visit to Freetown.
My five-year-old niece reenacted Mama’s 5th lesson from my book — Joy Has Come Home. She is my mother’s granddaughter, after all.
The joy and excitement that follow my every unannounced visit is always a treat. Mama would wear a big grin saying, “you always get us with your tricks, thanks to your brother.” Dad’s eyes would light up as he musters the strength to give me a warm hug. Then my nieces would echo chorus-like chants of “uncle Ayo don cam” (Uncle Ayo has come). The youngest of the four, Vanya, would sit on my lap, bombarding me with requestions reminiscence of my young self. On this occasion, after interrogating me, she declared she had money and was going back to Dubai with me. Not that one had anything to do with the other.
Vanya and I settled into our routine of having meals together, sharing chocolates and my aunty’s homemade cookies. I get total entertainment value from Vanya’s company. She goes from being the judge and jury over how we share the meat to telling me her father is not my brother. I cannot convince her that her grandpapa is my father. If not for the chocolates I bring, Vanya would be bossing me around my parents’ house. But, amidst our high-energy engagements, Vanya acted on her discovery that shocked everyone at home, including her mum.
One afternoon, Vanya’s mom narrated their unexpected conversation:
Vanya: Mama, give me the money I gave you for safekeeping.
Vanya’s mum: What do you want to do with it?
Vanya: I want to buy cookies for my uncle.
Vanya’s mum: Which cookies?
Vanya: The coconut cake he likes to buy from Aunty Cecilia.
With no words to respond, her mum gave her the money. Money in hand, Vanya raced to Aunty Cecilia’s flat to buy the coconut cake.
Vanya: Aunty Cecilia, I want to buy coconut cake.
Aunty Cecilia: I don’t have any now, Vanya.
Vanya: Keep the money. I will come back when you have the cake.
Later that evening, Vanya handed me a packet containing five pieces of my favourite cookie. My heart melted, my lips smiled, and my eyes filled with joy. I collected the packet, hugged and thanked her. Then we ate the five pieces together.
Everyone was surprised that Vanya was observant to notice the cookie I bought the most. But more surprisingly, she used up all her savings to buy the cookies.
Vanya’s gesture was the highlight of my three weeks in Freetown. I get goosebumps writing about it now. The cookie was fifty US cents, but it was all Vanya’s savings. Yet, she did not hesitate. It was like emptying one’s bank account to buy a gift for a friend.
I will never forget Vanya’s innocent yet genuine act of kindness which reminded me of the joys of giving.
“You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.” — Amy Carmichael
Learn these five habits from my little niece, Vanya, to help you experience the joys of giving so that you can freely receive what you seek.
1. Look for opportunities to give. Vanya was alert, aware and observant to pick a gift I would appreciate. She was deliberate about looking for a chance to give me something. If you look close enough, you will find opportunities to give. And when you see them, please act.
2. Count your blessings. I believe my niece saw that I always had something to share when she came to see me. Recognising how much she has received made her want to give in return. “Giving is better than receiving because giving starts the receiving process.” — Jim Rohn. Take inventory of how much you have received, and you will realise how blessed you are.
3. Have an attitude of gratitude. I know this is an overused cliché. But, true nonetheless. Vanya was content with what I was offering. She never demanded more from me. Instead, she was grateful and moved to give in return. Sometimes, we focus on what we do not have or could have had instead of what we have. Gratitude will open more doors for us than greed and discontentment ever would.
4. Give genuinely and from the heart. Vanya used all her savings to buy me my favourite cookie. You cannot get more genuine than that. She wore a broad smile on her face as she handed me the coconut cake. She gave, expecting nothing in return. Okay, Vanya ate a third of the cake. But you get the point.
5. Give your best. Vanya gave more than her best. She gave all she had. When you give, don’t give what you do not need or what is surplus to your requirement. Do not give anything that is not good enough for you. Vanya gave me the cake and waited to partake of it. The cake was fresh and hot from the oven, crunchy as freshly-baked chocolate chips. Simply the best cookie in its class. Sorry, I got carried away there. All I am saying here is to give your best and nothing less.
So go on, be like my little niece. Be the reason someone is happy. Go ahead and make somebody’s day. Start practising the above five giving habits, and I promise you that you will start experiencing more peace, feeling more joy and fulfilment, clearing the way for you to receive.
“It seemed to me that the people who were genuinely thriving in their lives were the ones who had made room for well-being, wisdom, wonder and giving.” — Arianna Huffington
Book Recommendations
Here are two recommended reading from Good2 Give about giving that I believe will inspire you.
a) A Kids Guide to Giving — by Freddi Zeiler
Here is another kid’s view about giving. Their innocence shows how simple and easy it is to understand why we give. This book is by a kid for kids from which adults can learn a great deal about making a difference in the world.
b) Simple giving: Easy ways to give every day — Jennifer Lacovelli
Jennifer shares an interesting perspective about giving and the divide she observed between givers and receivers while working with nonprofit organisations.
I encourage you to read stories that will inspire you. And learn how you can brighten others’ lives through your giving.
Citations
Here are three quotes to cultivate the habit of giving.
“Only by giving are you able to receive more than you already have.” — Jim Rohn
“If you’re in the luckiest one per cent of humanity, you owe it to the rest of humanity to think about the other 99 per cent..” — Warren Buffet
“Always give without remembering and always receive without forgetting.” — Brian Tracy
