Chances, Choices and Changes
Three Steps to Discover Your Purpose
“Making the best use of time…” — Eph 5:16
Jean-Paul Sarte summarised life as the C between B and D. Life is made of our choices between birth and death.
Recently, my younger brother and I spent three consecutive months together for the first time in 13 years. During those 90 days in Dubai, he pushed all my buttons and tested my patience to the limit. Just like old times. We argued over house chores, food menu and assembling my furniture from IKEA.
We figured we had placed the side drawer on the left of the table after we were more than halfway through assembling my work desk. While we were arguing whose fault we bought the wrong table, we found the set of instructions on how to install the drawer for a right-handed person like me. Now we were at a crossroad — dismantle and rebuild the desk or proceed to complete the drawer on the left side.
I preferred the former, but not my brother. “It doesn’t matter. You will get used to it,” he suggested. I am now adept at using the drawer from the left side of the desk. It feels natural.
To set up the desk to fit its purpose, first, we had to choose which side to place the drawer on and then decide which steps to follow.
This experience reminded me of the three simple steps we can follow in our bid to discovering our life’s purpose.
i. Understand the principle of choice
“Perhaps our greatest power in life is the power to choose. Without question, choices are the most determining factor in how our lives turn out.” — John C Maxwell.
We must accept that a fulfilled life will depend on the choices we make. Nothing is absolute. Choose to be happy, choose to be free of fear and be open to exploring all possibilities. That is the principle of choice.
Our choices send instructions to our subconscious to act towards our desired outcomes. Thus, it is crucial to find your place of choice.
My brother and I had to choose between instruction A (left drawer) and instruction B (right drawer). That was our place of choice.
ii. Understand the point of decision
“Decisiveness is a characteristic of high-performing men and women. Almost any decision is better than no decision at all.” ― Brian Tracy.
Our experience, habits, religion, culture, education influence our decisions. We do make decisions in a vacuum. When we start taking these internal and external factors into action, we start moving to the point of decision.
Considering that I am right-handed, my brother and I could have decided to go with instruction B. But because we missed our place of choice, we limited our point of decision.
At the point of decision, we narrow down our choices by considering internal and external factors.
iii. Align your decisions with your values
“I believe the choice to be excellent begins with aligning your thoughts and words with the intention to require more from yourself.” — Oprah Winfrey.
Finally, your decisions must lead you to life-defining actions that lead to desired actions aligned to your values and beliefs.
Going against your values will make you uncomfortable, uneasy and unsatisfied. Accountability, contentment, excellence, faith, love, making a difference, reliability are some of the values that guide my decisions.
Identify your core values — the things vital to you about how you live and work — the things you can and cannot do.
“Understanding the difference between the place of choice and the point of decision helps you practice identifying your feelings, whether positive or negative, so you can make inspired choices and clear, robust decisions. By visiting the place of choice first, you can obtain the confidence needed to stay motivated and take bold, life-changing actions.” — culled from The Difference Between Making A Choice And A Decision by Svetlana Whitener.
We should not be obsessed with making the right decisions. Instead, we should focus on the actions that will make our decisions right.
When given chances in life, we must choose, decide and then take life-changing actions towards our purpose.
