44 Things I have Learnt @ Forty-Four
“Beloved, I wish above all things, that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth” — 3 John 2
I am 44 years young today!
The number of years is just that, a number. I believe it is the impact that I make that will give significance to my age. My goal is to be a person of influence, not popular.
“Age is not a measure of impact” — Dr Myles Munroe
I have made it my life’s mission to help others realise and fulfil their potential, to use my life’s experiences to teach, motivate and inspire others.
So, here are 44 lessons I have learnt about work, life, career, relationships, business, leadership, family and faith, in my 44th year on this beautiful planet.
1) Put God First
God is everything, without God I will not be where I am today. I commit everything I do and every decision I make to God in prayer.
2) Respect for elders and taking care of those who took care of me is my life’s greatest honour
During a conversation with one of my uncles, he told I should address him by his first name and not “sir”. Then I answered, “it will be difficult for me to do that, sir”.
3) Attitude will get you where aptitude can not.
I choose to be humble with an attitude for learning. Mum taught me to treat everyone with dignity and respect regardless of their, race, colour or creed.
4) I will nurture an attitude of gratitude
I am grateful for life; for my family and real friends; for my mentors; for the challenges that I have overcome to become who I am; and above all, I am grateful to God for his Grace.
5) A healthy body leads to a healthy mind
The fitter and active version of me from 110Kgs to 87Kgs is sharper, more energetic and agile.
6) Do not worry about the unknown
I have learnt not to stress over what I don’t know, and I do not go looking for bad news. We had a saying that goes like this — “don’t trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.” Funny old cliché that I have found to be useful advice. It helps my sanity.
7) Writing down my big hairy audacious goals is the first step to success
I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. Every January, I take stock of the year gone by and update by five-year life workbook. I have goals about my writing, about education, about self-development and learning, about investment and my career. I may not achieve all of my goals, but I sure do become a better person for trying.
8) Use what I have to build what I want
I still have the scars from working as a bricklayer to pay some of my school fees. I had my hands and strength of youth; I used them to build the life I wanted
9) Give your best or nothing at all
I give 100% at all times, wholeheartedly and with the best preparation possible. When I write, when I ride, and at work, I want to be able to say that I gave my best.
10) It is better to make progress than to aim for perfection
I will not wait for it to be perfect. I will start. I will try as long as I am moving forward.
11) Integrity and a good name is better than monetary riches
As they say, our reputation precedes us. I believe that our “name” is the biggest currency we have to trade.
12) You get 10% from education and 90% from learning
I keep learning long after my education was over. If I am to continue to be relevant and of value, I need to keep learning and improving.
13) My happiness is my responsibility
I choose to be happy no matter what. It is a conscious decision that is not determined by what I have or where I am. It is my choice.
14) It doesn’t matter what people say; it is my reaction that counts
There are only two opinions that matter to me. What I believe God says about me and my opinion about myself. The rest I take under advisement.
15) It is not what you say but how you say it
Words are powerful. I have not only learnt to use them wisely but also be mindful of how I use them. I have learnt to be slow to speak.
16) Communication is the most important skill you can learn
Your audience will miss your message if you do not communicate it clearly, honestly and passionately.
17) You need a mentor to grow
I know I would not have made it this far without the people who continue to mentor me. The challenge me, coach me and help to see what is possible.
18) Leadership starts with you
Simple. I cannot lead others if I cannot lead myself to do the tough things that I need to do. I must first convince myself before I can convince others.
19) Focus on making a difference and not a Dollar
I all the seven cities I have lived and worked so far, my goal has been clear. Make a difference in the lives of those I touch.
20) Giving is the secret to Abundance
I believe I continue to grow in knowledge because I am willing to share the little I know. Whatever I lack is something that I have not been willing to share
21) The right questions can open doors for you
My parents used to call me question master as a kid. I remain curious and ready to learn new things. I ask many questions of my mentors and experts with whom I work.
22) Follow your instincts
I have learnt to trust my gut. Not to give it food when it wants but to rely on that deep down feeling I get when logic does not feel right.
23) Where I invest my time is proof of what is important to me
God, family, work, writing and health take up my time. They are the most important things to me.
24) It is dumb to be the smartest person in the room
I grow the most when I surround myself with people who are smarter than me. My intention is not to look smart but to be smart.
25) Time lost cannot be regained, make it count
Ageing is the perfect reminder that we cannot regain that past. I strive to make everyday count because I do not want to look back in regret wondering what if. I do not want to wish I had used my time differently.
26) Listen attentively and be slow to speak
It is folly to speak in haste. Learning to be the last to speak is a great virtue of a true leader.
27) You do not get what you want or need; you get what you deserve
When you plant in the right way and at the right time, you deserve a harvest in due season. I do not have a sense of entitlement but I know I deserve where I am and what I have.
28) Do not make decisions based on your emotions
I try not to make decisions when I am angry, sad or happy.
29) Nothing good comes without sacrifice, patience and perseverance
It takes time to lose weight. “Rome was not built in a day” was a constant reminder from my mother.
30) Consistency is the excellence
What I do consistently will determine what I will become. I will do not tend to your garden consistently weed will overtake it.
31) No matter how many times I fail, I will keep getting back up
I have failed in school, I have failed at work, I have failed in my walk with God, and I have failed in business. However, I have always gotten back up.
32) Life is like a crossword puzzle; each one is unique
My life is unique, so I do not try to copy anyone else’s life. I live on my terms, to be at peace with God, with those I love and my conscience.
33) Every vision need a support team
Jesus had 12 disciples, who am I to try to do it all alone? I rely on my team at work, my family and friends who are willing to tell me as it is not what I want to hear.
34) You need a cheerleader to support you across the finish line
In those times when I doubt myself, my cheerleader would tell me — “you’ve got this!”
35) The most difficult time can be a sign of a breakthrough
It is darkest before dawn.
36) Be a kid
What would my six, eight, ten-year-old self do? The answer to this question sparks my creativity and even my resilience. My younger self will not take no for an answer.
37) Never use people to benefit me
I value people relationship and the impact I make. If I cannot add value to someone, I best leave them alone.
38) How I handle the little things will determine how I will do with the big things
Dad taught me this. He said, you never know where the little things will lead. You don’t get better just because you now have a bigger responsibility. You get a bigger responsible because you were better with the small things.
39) Do not sweat the small stuff
I have learned to let the small stuff slide. I try not to be major on the minor stuff.
40) Don’t judge people by the present circumstance, you never know what they will become
I know better from my humble beginnings.
41) Create the life of your dreams and not dream the life you want
It is not enough to dream; I must take action. It was my dream to grow professionally. I invested in learning the right things.
42) There is value in being a problem solver
All my big career moves have been because someone remembered me for a problem I solved for them.
43) I will not put off for later what I can do now
The right time is now. Tomorrow is not guaranteed and yesterday is gone.
44) I will do unto others as I would want others to do unto me
Finally, the golden rule. Before I act or say something to someone, I ask myself this question. “How would I feel if someone did that or said that to me?”
“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, “What are you doing for others?” — Martin Luther King, Jr
As I step into the start of a brand new year, I prepare to face my future with braveness.
“The future does not belong to the faint-hearted, it belongs to the brave.” — Ronald Reagan
To all my family, friends and colleagues (past and present), I hope that I have been able to play my small part in helping you realise your potential. Above all, I wish you continue to prosper and be in good health.
